歡迎訪客 ( 登入 | 註冊 )

 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Are You Listening?
bud
張貼文章 10-29 2006, 13:54
發表於: #1


投資二兵
**

所屬群組: 新手會員
發表總數: 26
註冊日期: 08-20-2006
會員編號: 9955



By Ilise Benun

Everyone tells my friend Andy that he is a good listener ... because he doesn't say much. And I'm thinking the reason he doesn't say much is because, well, he's not really listening.

He may start off by asking great questions and listening to the answers, but his mind wanders. You can see it in his eyes. Maybe he's thinking about what he's having for dinner. Maybe he's thinking about his girlfriend. Maybe he's even imagining that the person he's talking to thinks he's a complete bore.

Whatever is going on in his head, Andy misses out on a lot because of it - like new project opportunities or suggestions that could help him improve his business. But he'll never know.

Listening is one of the most valuable skills a businessperson can develop. And all it requires from you is to be attentive. To be curious, sincerely curious. To ask questions because you are genuinely engaged in the conversation and interested in the person in front of you. To be willing to take in new information and ideas and act on what you hear.

You needn't advise, coach, or even sound wise. All you have to do is sit there and take in what's being said - which, for some people, turns out to be a pretty tall order.

Here are some concrete suggestions to help you build your listening muscle:

1. Be open. Being open means forgetting (or at least setting aside) everything you know about the person or the topic and listening with every ounce of your attention.

2. Be interested. Most people try to be interesting when they should be interested. To be a truly successful communicator, you must be curious about and fascinated by the way another person's mind works. You must want to understand others, to know more about what they think and feel.

3. Don't be distracted. Give your full attention to the conversation. Don't let your eyes wander if someone enters the room or passes by. Don't answer your cellphone. Don't check your watch. These are all signals to the other person that what he's saying isn't important to you.

4. Don't interrupt. Resist the urge to respond immediately to something the other person says. Learn how to hold your thoughts until it's your turn. Speaking just for the sake of speaking won't add to the conversation. It's more likely to derail it.

5. Reveal yourself. Being a good listener doesn't mean all you do is listen. A good listener also reveals information about himself that makes the other person feel more comfortable about opening up. For example, if someone tells you about a struggle he is having, wait until he finishes. Then, without shifting the focus onto yourself, respond with a bit of information about a similar struggle of your own.

6. Ask unexpected questions. Don't ask a question you think you know the answer to. Ask "Why?" or "Why not?" Use unexpected questions to find out what makes the other person tick. You may get an unexpected response that could take the conversation on a more interesting path.

7. Ask for clarification. You are not a mind reader. If the other person uses jargon or terms you don't understand, or makes statements that confuse you, ask, "When you say ____, what do you mean?" Or, "Can you expand or give me an example of ____?"

8. Take advantage of an occasional lull in the conversation. Don't feel that you have to fill in a moment of silence with a forced question or comment. Hold back ... and see what the other person will reveal.

Most people listen with the intent to reply. But it's better to listen with the intent to understand. If you listen with the intent to reply, you'll spend your time thinking about what you're going to say next, and you'll miss what the other person is telling you. If you listen with the intent to understand, you will hear more - not only what they are actually saying but also what they are implying.

Nothing affects the quality of your relationships more than your willingness to listen to others. Start listening better today, and you could see big changes in your personal and business life - better friendships, more (and better) clients, more respect, and more attention when you speak, too.

[Ed. Note: Ilise Benun is the author of Stop Pushing Me Around: A Workplace Guide for the Timid, Shy, and Less Assertive.]


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
3050
張貼文章 10-29 2006, 15:01
發表於: #2


投資少尉
*****

所屬群組: Banned
發表總數: 669
註冊日期: 02-22-2006
會員編號: 684



(IMG:http://www.moneyq.org/forum/style_emoticons/default/silly.gif)

本篇文章已被 3050 於 11-14 2006, 23:06 編輯過
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
五柳先生
張貼文章 10-29 2006, 15:10
發表於: #3


投資上尉
******

所屬群組: 進階會員
發表總數: 841
註冊日期: 02-14-2006
會員編號: 5



引用框(3050 @ 10-29 2006, 15:01)

where is your verb? (IMG:http://www.moneyq.org/forum/style_emoticons/default/y06.gif)


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
藍藍
張貼文章 11-01 2006, 15:49
發表於: #4


投資少尉
*****

所屬群組: 進階會員
發表總數: 538
註冊日期: 02-24-2006
來自: 櫻桃魔法島
會員編號: 788



@@verb?

I might be one of andy!!<<<is it rite??

==================================

I think that is good points,

but more less person can do it,

so do I...

本篇文章已被 藍藍 於 11-01 2006, 15:57 編輯過
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Because666
張貼文章 11-04 2006, 02:39
發表於: #5


投資中校
********

所屬群組: 板主群組
發表總數: 1259
註冊日期: 04-05-2006
來自: 新北市
會員編號: 4922



to be or not to be...(IMG:http://www.moneyq.org/forum/style_emoticons/default/happy.gif)


--------------------
我的投資網誌:理財不二法門 ─ 見好就收
(點選↑就可以撲撲囉!)



任鑫 - Because
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
hunniebearu
張貼文章 11-05 2006, 03:25
發表於: #6


投資少尉
*****

所屬群組: 進階會員
發表總數: 350
註冊日期: 03-05-2006
來自: Vancouver
會員編號: 1777



"I might be one of the Andys" ??

haha such a tricky one
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
cfo
張貼文章 11-14 2006, 17:49
發表於: #7


投資少尉
*****

所屬群組: 進階會員
發表總數: 201
註冊日期: 03-03-2006
會員編號: 1367



"I might be one of the Andies."

"Andy" (plural "Andies")--check from Wikipedia
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Croatians
張貼文章 12-08 2009, 22:15
發表於: #8


投資新兵
*

所屬群組: 新手會員
發表總數: 2
註冊日期: 12-07-2009
會員編號: 37356



Every forum got a thread like this, I know

What are you listening to right now, and whats your taste of music?

Right now Im listening to Millencolin - Bullion, and I also listen very much to Millencolin At home, in my car, in school...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Angelina_Apr
張貼文章 12-24 2009, 19:34
發表於: #9


投資新兵
*

所屬群組: 新手會員
發表總數: 4
註冊日期: 12-10-2009
來自: Mexico
會員編號: 37397



I dont know if you guys already had one of these, but its a pretty fun forum game type thing.

You just post the name of the song you are currently listening to.


"Kelsey" - Still Remains

SF


--------------------
hey guys, who has the balls? :)
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

Reply to this topicStart new topic

 



- 簡化版本 現在時間: 10-16-2019 11:28