KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: Cindy, why ar e you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!
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TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time."
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TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down
his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
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TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.

Types of girls

HARD-DISK Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.


RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.


WINDOWS Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.


SCREENSAVER Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!


INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.


SERVER Girls:
Always busy when you need her.


MULTIMEDIA Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.


CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.


E-MAIL Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.


VIRUS Girls:
Also known as "WIFE";
when you are not expecting her, she comes,
installs herself and uses all your resources.
If you try to uninstall her, you will lose something,
if you don't try to uninstall her, you will lose everything.